Meet the Therapist: Sophie Hughes

Before you get in touch with a therapist, it helps to know a little about who you'd be sitting with. Meet the Therapist is a new series from held where we ask our therapists the questions people tend to wonder about, and let them answer in their own words.

First up is Sophie Hughes, a counsellor who works with adults at held in Haywards Heath, with a particular focus on women going through perimenopause and menopause.

In Sophie's words

What were you doing before you became a therapist, and what brought you to it?

I spent most of my career in people development and HR, which I fell into in my early twenties. I started out as a trainer for a large retailer, and I loved seeing people leave my workshops more skilled, more confident, or a better leader. From there I worked on everything from apprenticeships and graduate programmes through to leadership and executive development, so I've worked with a really broad range of people.

When I qualified as a coach, it was my one to one work that sparked something. I wanted to work with people over a longer period and see them grow. That, combined with my own experience of therapy, made me want to learn more. So I began my therapy training, and I haven't looked back since.

If a friend who'd never been to therapy asked how you work, what would you tell them?

I'd tell them I have a toolbox, with lots of different approaches and ways of working inside it. No two people are the same, and everyone's needs are different. I look at the whole person, their thoughts, their feelings, what's happening in their body, and what they've been through before.

Sometimes that means being curious together, noticing patterns and themes so you can understand what you're going through. Sometimes it's very practical, helping you get through a stressful situation.

Who tends to come and see you, and what's usually going on for them when they first get in touch?

I work only with adults, and while I see a wide range of people, many of the women who come to me are really struggling day to day. They usually get in touch when so much is happening at once and they're truly exhausted. They're juggling so many roles, mother, daughter, wife, partner, sister, friend, colleague, carer, and running a household on top of it all.

When menopause is added to the mix, they feel depleted and fatigued, and they can feel really lost. They're so focused on looking after everyone else that they become invisible and overlooked. Women deserve a space where they're truly seen, heard and understood, and that's what I want to give them.

What can someone expect from a first session with you?

It starts with a free 20 minute online consultation. The relationship between client and therapist is the foundation of the work, so this is a chance for us to meet, get to know each other a little, and see whether it feels right.

If you decide to go ahead, our first full session is about getting started together. We'll cover the practical side, like confidentiality and how we'll work, and I'll ask a bit about your life: your day to day, what you're struggling with, your work, who you have around you, and whether you've had therapy before.

You've chosen to focus on perimenopause. What drew you to that work?

It was really my own experience. I was struggling in my forties and couldn't understand why. For years I had tests, scans and a whole host of medication, and nothing changed. It was only when I started talking openly to my friends, my family and my own therapist about how I was really feeling that I began to do my own research.

I saw a doctor who specialised in menopause, and finally, after several years of not knowing, there was someone who understood what was happening to my body and mind. That's when I realised how empowering knowledge and conversation can be for women.

Where I was working at the time, there was very little conversation or support around menopause, for women or for their colleagues and line managers. I didn't want anyone else to feel as alone as I had, so I worked to change company policies, introduced workplace education, and set up a dedicated support group so women felt supported to stay in work.

During my therapy training, my research looked at whether and how therapy can help women manage their symptoms alongside medical support. Supporting women through this is something I'm really passionate about.

What's something people often believe about therapy that you wish they didn't?

I'd love to change the idea that therapy is somewhere you go when something needs fixing, or when you're in crisis, or that struggling is a sign of weakness. Those are all myths.

Therapy is a space dedicated just for you, and how often do we get that in such busy lives? It's a place to pause, and a great way of looking after our wellbeing.

What do you like about working at held, and about Haywards Heath?

I love the space. Even though it's in the heart of a busy town, it's calm, peaceful and quiet. It really feels like your own special place, away from the busyness of life, and clients seem to love it too, which is the most important thing.

After working and commuting to London for most of my career, I've found I really value working in my local community. And working alongside such a great team of therapists feels really important to me.

And to finish, what holds you together on a hard week?

My three year old cavapoo, Coco. She loves to play, which brings out the joy and fun in me, and she gets me outside in nature whatever the weather. A dog walk and a coffee is my go to for a reset. Other times I just need to be still and quiet for a while, and she's happy to be a snuggly lap dog.

I also have great support around me, my family, my friends, and my own therapist too.

Working with Sophie

Alongside her private practice, Sophie works with organisations on menopause support, drawing on her years in HR and people development. In her last role she wrote menopause policies, trained colleagues and managers, coached women one to one, and set up menopause champions and support groups.

You can find out more about Sophie, and get in touch with her, on her held profile.